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Guilt is, “I did something bad;" shame is, “I am bad;” a devastating distinction if we don’t know the difference.

I can’t talk about shame without acknowledging the work of Dr. Brene Brown. She has brought a message of hope and healing with her research about shame and I’d more than suggest you read whatever she writes. Anyone who influences anyone should be keenly aware of what shame is and when we do it, even inadvertently.

What kicks me in the gut, as a Christian Leader, is the role that religion plays in shaming people. The very force that should give life, often kills someone's soul.

Have you ever had someone tell you, “I am not religious?” What does that even mean? They never say, “I have no religion.” And, unless they are a true Atheist or Agnostic—taking notes from Ricky Gervais—they won’t lead with that either. No, it seems like the “non-religious” crowd got their line from the same franchise coffee shop. 

I recently had an interaction where this position was stated… more than once. And, I wasn’t prompting it—except by the pure fact that I was known to be a Christian. It’s as if my unstated belief demanded a statement about non-belief in defence of the off chance that I might try to state my (still unstated, but commonly known) belief. Sorry, that was a mouthful. Maybe next time I should get in front of their preemptive strike with one of my own: “Don’t worry, we aren’t really looking for new ushers at the moment. Sundays are running just fine.”

I was struck recently by the satirical and cynical nature of our society and how the Church has swallowed this hook in many ways. It’s almost impossible to live in a culture and not wear it’s clothes. 

I wonder why it is that we so quickly can become critical or judgmental of other people? Next time you are in a conversation with someone, about someone else, try and notice the tone or content of your words. How much of the conversation is praise about other people instead of what you don’t like about them?