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I have been part of the international relief and development community and discussion for about 13 years now. And for all of the right reasons, there has never been such a huge discussion and focus placed on not doing harm when we are trying to help the poor. All the buzz words right now have tipped the scales toward considering “best practice” to maximize our aid effectiveness.

Words can change your world. They can revive you or crush your spirit. How you interpret them can drastically change their meaning. The message you intend to pass on, by your words, might not be received how you expect it to be. Communication is hard work. 

Whenever we have a message to convey we use the tools we have at hand. An English speaking Canadian might only be expected to have conversations in English—unless she feels led to butcher the minimal French she remembers from elementary school. Sometimes we communicate non-verbally—using our body language, musical gifts, emoticons, or mad skills with a paint brush. Today, however, I am concerned only with words. 

Most of us know enough to say that size does not matter. And while we know it shouldn’t matter, let’s be honest, it actually does. We ask the size question in various ways. “So...how many attend your Sunday service now?” “What’s your program attendance?" Or, “How many staff do you have?” “What’s your annual budget?”

As soon as these kinds of questions are asked, our biggest task is to hide the wide-eyed look of insecurity to pretend we don’t care about being compared to something. Some of the thoughts that can go through our heads include “Maybe I’ll round up to make it sound better.” “Maybe I’ll give a range that includes the attendance at the Christmas Eve service.” Depending on who is asking, maybe I’ll say something about the good things happening in people’s lives.

Let me ask you a question. Could it be possible that a church (lower case “c”) might put too much pressure on its primary leadership? And, if that church is lucky enough to employ more than one individual to handle its various needs (its many, many diverse needs), is there a chance those tasks have been assigned improperly?